The BIG 30

Milestones, milestones, milestones.Ah, you gotta both love and hate them.

Be a stepping stone, be a pioneer, be a pathfinder, blah blah blah once you cross 30. The more we age, the more responsibilities fall on our shoulders and the count of obligations is also high. Heaven forbid us, if we fail to fulfill any obligations, the hassle we get is so not worth it. Will the earth quake or storms reign or thunder bloom If we fail to fulfill these obligations?

Because we will be made to believe that those incidents occur if we fail to do our duties. It doesn’t matter, whether we are financially secure or not, doesn’t matter whether we are emotionally secure or not, doesn’t matter whether we are happy or not, we have to do the duty or be humiliated and shamed in front of our own circle.

We shouldn’t have any thoughts on said matter, because we mustn’t ignore tradition and mustn’t take a different path, mustn’t shame our family and relatives. Even if the law supports our decision, the family wouldn’t. I sometimes wonder whether screaming till our faces become blue will work in these scenarios?

What is the point of having freedom, when it can be taken away without any warning? What is the point of having a voice if it can be silenced before it is heard? Rules are meant to be broken and whoever made those rules ensured no other voices can be heard aside from their own.

I wonder at times if I had born in a different era, would it have affected how I feel? Whether my voice would have been heard and my concerns addressed? When did taking care of oneself become an issue?

When did having a right to their own body and mind became an issue? When did having a say became invalid? What if we didn’t marry by 30? What if didn’t sire any children when we hit 30? What if we don’t have a fancy car or own an apartment when we are 30? It is worrisome that the number of people, especially youngsters who are pressured heavily that they can’t think of anything else other than fulfilling their duty for the family.

We need to ask ourselves who is at fault here? Why are we pushing people to do certain things when they are clearly not interested? Why are we being afraid of what others will say that we ignore our own child’s happiness and content? Why are we not pushing our children to be a better version of themselves instead of pushing them to be perfect heir?

Why are we heeding other’s opinions and ideas,when deep down we are perfectly aware of our children’s wants and needs? Why are we not having their backs?Why are we not shutting down whoever spreading the rumors?

So, it is perfectly alright for our children to dislike us or maybe hate us for the rest of our lives but heaven forbid, we cannot be seen as a lenient parent who ignores tradition and honors their children’s wishes. The situation we are in has to be changed soon, else I fear for the mindset of the next generation. They will be more pressured to get a good score, get into a reputable college, placed in a top 10 company, and get married to a wealthy family and sire beautiful children, and repeat the course for them.

Change begins with you, I have started the change, have you?

Beloved,

Nivi

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